


Shades Of Sorrow

by devoutmin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Art Student Xu Minghao, Dancer Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends With Benefits, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by Art, Literature Student Jeon Wonwoo, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Near Death Experiences, some nsfw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:42:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29484666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devoutmin/pseuds/devoutmin
Summary: Xu Minghao. Slow, bright and brilliant vastness. Good reputation. All the things he could simply not identify himself as. A boy who has never learned to love, with a heart cold as stone, yearning for relief and all the vows he had been promised, before he became the one thing he swore to avoid.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Kudos: 5





	Shades Of Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Am I a mindless artist, living his impulsive fever dream in a gruesome city? Or am I yet another lost soul that finds himself hiding behind useless hobbies?

The rain was dancing on the windowsill, massive rhythmic drops splashing against the windowpane. Tranquility and hostility was all the male needed. Some darkness to feed into his lonesome soul. Nature’s music was fueling his inspiration for the canvas as several hues of purple and green were splattered on it. Xu Minghao reached down to scoop up an entire handful of cheap blue dye out of its bucket, slapping it onto the mess of a painting he had created. With the same blank expression he wore on a daily, he watched the colours mix and run down the surface, unimpressed as he had been doing this for the past year. Minghao wiped the excess off on his cheap ripped jeans, stumbling over to his studios flats front door. He didn’t mind kicking over a few buckets, those stains added style to his overall crammed place. And taking a walk in the heavy rain seemed way better than finishing that… barbarity of an artpiece.

Classes didn’t start until thursday anyway, he thought. So why bother?

He ran his delicate digits down the elevator buttons before pressing the first one, taking a quick glimpse in the mirror to look at his now ruined clothes. Minghaos white shirt had a few splatters here and there, as well as some hand prints from him cleaning off the paint. His figure was so slim that he really did end up looking like a living, vandalized billboard. It was the first thing that would pop into his mind whenever he viewed his reflectoin. Truthfully, _they_ have engraved this mindset, this vile way of thinking badly about himself. Not thinking much of it, the male stepped out of the elevator right as the doors opened with a loud "ding" echoing through the empty lobby, the cold air of Anshans infamous rain storms blowing through every crack. Opening the door with a swift movement he left the complex, immediately being greeted by the loud howls and heavy drops engulfing his body.

This is what he wanted, what he needed. As if all problems had vanished, Minghaos face lit up into a curious expression, his legs moving as if they weren't his anymore. Just a pair of peripheral means of transport, they led the way for him just like that. He didn't know where or why he was running, actually all he knew was that he needed more time to get as far away as possible. He was trapped in a total state of frenzy, immediately dropping to his knees by the closest park, right below a conveniently placed roofed seating area to catch his breath. Now, his jeans _really_ were ruined. He looked up at the sky with his mouth agape, admiring the water droplets hitting the glass roof over and over again. 

Carefree, playful and vibrant is all he wanted to be. There was nothing he longed more for than being normal, being perfect. Nothing about him was anywhere close to that. He was below average - per se a nobody in his parents beliefs. He never really stood out, neither negatively nor positively. He was reserved, too introverted for his own good with a non existent social life. Minghaos only friend was Jeon Wonwoo, a South Korean student he met over a heated discussion about anime on Weibo. Surprisingly, that fella knew his mandarin well. He would even help out Minghao in naming his art pieces, since he couldn't decipher what they project himself. Except for his current one, that one felt... special. It was like the rain had flicked a switch in his mind, rearranging his messy thoughts and forming actual emotions he could express freely. 

Purple; shades amongst shades of it, messily wiped on as a sloppy background and picturing his pride and arrogance. Neon green splatters, smeared right ontop and mixing in with the hues of violet, forming a base for his willpower - and uncertainty. Then, finally, the blue plat right in the middle, the darkness feeding its melancholy to a lonesome soul, nourishing it gradually. 

It's not like the heavy rain had been something new to him. Anshan is a city fairly close to the Yellow Sea, of course there'd be some rain here and there. Maybe his good karma was finally adding up and gifting him clarity? For all he knew he deserved it, and he was going to enjoy every single bit of it until life decides to fuck it all up and pull him back into his black mystery hole.

When what felt like seconds had passed Minghaos eyes fluttered shut, listening to the sound of rain drops slowly fading away with his head lowered and knees sunken into the soft dirt. Natures music stopped, he thought. Time to go home.

As the slim figure got up, stomping over to the concrete, he kept his head sunken. Well, there he was, standing in the middle of a city he no longer associated himself with, dirty clothes and... no shoes. He couldn't care less about ruining the awful choice of carpet in the lobby and halls... yet it was fucking disgusting to have mud stuck against your feet. With a groan he made his was back to the apartment complex, shaking his head in disbelief. How the hell did he think this was a good idea? It was way too dramatic, even for somebody like him. Minghao gripped onto his upper arm, looking like a homeless child wandering down these cold, wet streets. Luckily, it was around 11pm, around the time where nobody really dared themselves to go outside anymore. Gang criminality rates were at an all-time high after all. 

There he was again, finding himself standing back inside that damned elevator, clothes dripping water and thinned out paint running down his ghostlike face as he stared upon his figure. A billboard, an abandoned one with no place to be. Without a use, yeah, completely fucking useless. His eyes were fixated on himself.

And he loathed every bit of it.

* * *

The clock struck 01:00 in Seoul, and Wonwoo was still waiting for his friend to message him. His right arm was draped around his knees as the other one tightly gripped onto his phone, tapping his foot on the leather couch as he stared onto the only source of light comming from his room. Minghao really didn't care about anyone messaging him if it were to happen past 10. Anyone but Wonwoo, he would always reply to him, no matter how frustrated he was. Talking to eachother was something the pair look could forward to on a daily. Yet there he was, anxiously chewing his lip as he sent a few more of those cat emoticons they both found so endearing. Curse you, he thought while sulking to himself. Minghao better not turn this into a habit, what would Wonwoo do without his closest friend? His eyes switched from the cute, colourful text bubbles to a notification from this groupchat Wonwoos friend Mingyu pulled him into. A chat filled with students of his university... coincidentally. He really didn't know much about them, again, he got pulled into this whole ordeal, but there haven't been any bad encounters. Luckily.

Truthfully, Wonwoo had a massive crush on Mingyu. The tall, puppy-like male with the dorkiest fucking personality the male had ever laid his eyes upon. Mingyu wasn't a student, in fact he had a bachelors degree in performing arts and... it seemed like that was all he needed to satisfy his parents. He just loved to join their study sessions to annoy the rest of his friends and provide everyone with food. Ontop of that he was the only one with his own place and a car. It's a mystery how somebody from Wonwoos caliber would fall for Mingyus kind. He was too damn cute for his own fucking good.

Continuing to read Mingyus hastily-written and typo-infested messages with a smile, Wonwoo sat up straight and tapped on the notification. All he sent was a thumbs up message, agreeing to whatever the boys were discussing. Honestly, he couldn't bother keeping up with the massive amount of messages at this hour, he only had Minghao on his mind. With a deep sigh he gto up from his leather couch (that already had a dent from him sitting in the same position for so long) and plopped down onto his bed face first, taking a quick glance at his bright phone screen with half-lidded eyes. 

Right as his eyes began to close, Minghao sent his friend a picture of his new painting, the beautiful dark-grey skies complimenting the cold colour nuances on the canvas perfectly. He felt relieved, a smile creeping onto his face as he slowly drifted to sleep.


End file.
